A Tale of Two Churches

For today's thought, I just want to relate two stories from two different churches.  I will do so without much editorializing.

The first story has been featured in the news in a big way recently.  In fairness, the Church of Christ mentioned in this story is one of the hardline conservative congregations, closely associated with the Contending for the Faith group, which even most in the Church of Christ will admit is an overly strict and dogmatic group.

http://timesfreepress.com/news/2013/aug/21/repent-or-leave/

Collegedale's decision to grant benefits to same-sex couples was a victory for Kat Cooper, a gay detective who championed the months-long effort that made the Chattanooga suburb the first city in Tennessee to offer benefits to same-sex spouses of its government employees.

Cooper's mother, Linda, stood by her side throughout the process. She held tight to her daughter's hand at a July meeting over the issue. And the two embraced after the City Council's 4-1 vote on Aug. 5.

But those small acts of support translated into collateral damage that left Linda Cooper and other relatives separated from their church family of more than 60 years. And one local advocate for gay families says the church's stance was the most extreme he's heard of in years.

Leaders at Ridgedale Church of Christ met in private with Kat Cooper's mother, aunt and uncle on Sunday after the regular worship service. They were given an ultimatum: They could repent for their sins and ask forgiveness in front of the congregation. Or leave the church.

Their sins?

"My mother was up here and she sat beside me. That's it," said Kat Cooper. "Literally, they're exiling members for unconditionally loving their children -- and even extended family members."

But the family's support of Kat Cooper was as good as an endorsement of homosexuality, said Ken Willis, minister at Ridgedale Church of Christ.

"The sin would be endorsing that lifestyle," Willis said. "The Bible speaks very plainly about that."

Willis, a father himself, said the church didn't expect the Cooper family to disown their daughter.

"But you certainly can't condone that lifestyle, whether it's any kind of sin -- whether they're shacked up with someone or living in a state of fornication or they're guilty of crimes," he said. "You don't condone it. You still love them as a parent."

Hunt Cooper, Kat's father, said his wife is still too distraught over the church's actions to comment.

"She is just so traumatized and so upset," he said. "It has been days and she's still crying. It's almost like losing a family member."

Linda Cooper's parents were practically founding members of the Dodds Avenue congregation, Hunt Cooper said. Her father was a church elder and his picture still hangs on the wall there. Kat Cooper grew up helping her grandfather clean the pews and helped her grandmother hang bulletin boards for Sunday school.

"This is not just some casual church they dropped in on," he said.

Hunt Cooper said his family rejects the notion that being gay is a lifestyle choice. And his wife, along with her brother and sister, believed repentance would be hypocritical. So the decision to leave, devastating as it was, was a simple one.

"There's no sin to repent for," he said. "And she's not going to turn her back on her daughter."

Church of Christ congregations are mostly independent of one another, with church elders and ministers setting the tone at each. So the Coopers suspect church authorities are mostly behind their confrontation. Many congregation members didn't even know of the situation, Hunt Cooper said.

In the South, it's not uncommon for families of gay people to feel unwelcome or shunned at church, said Matt Nevels, the presiding officer of PFLAG, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Nevels was a longtime minister at Red Bank Baptist Church, but left in 1995 because of the church's hard-line stance on homosexuality. His own views on the matter were shaped by his son, Stephen, who announced he was gay before dying of AIDS.

Through PFLAG, Nevels regularly meets with parents and other family members of gays and lesbians. And it's commonplace for the revelation of a gay son or daughter to put family members on the rocks with their church communities.

"Most of the churches in this area are homophobic," Nevels said. "So it's not unusual for things like that to happen."

But usually the distance grows subtly. A cold shoulder. A sense that you no longer fit it. It's uncommon that people are delivered such an overt message, as was the case for the Coopers.

"I've never heard it extended to other family members like that," he said. "That is definitely an extreme case."

But Willis, Ridgedale's minister, says the church regularly approaches people to repent for all sorts of sin. Church leaders have given other members a similar choice to repent or leave for sins such as living together before marriage, he said. And the Coopers' battle was public, captured by television cameras and newspaper stories, giving the church no choice but to take action.

"When a person is in sin they are asked to repent, to make a statement, renouncing their participation in sin," he said.

And here is the second story.  A friend of mine submitted this to me on Facebook.  The church mentioned is not a Church of Christ.  It is a non-denominational Christian church.

 I just read the summary of the article in the comments [the above article about Ridgedale CofC--jd], and I really didn't want to get involved in a long discussion. The comments are a little disturbing, and the Church of Christ would really not support my church.  

Every Thursday we go to four strip clubs in Savannah and bring dinner to the girls. We don't support their decision to dance, but we can understand how that could be a desperate decision for any mother or young woman trying to take care of herself and her children. We go without judgement, and get asked weekly by the new dancers why we come. We simply tell them we are there as women to help out other women.  

As a result, these girls have seen that we are different. Many of the girls now come to church and are trying to find other jobs. We had our first baptism 2 weeks ago. It has been an amazing ministry to be part of, and I look forward to serving when it when it is my turn each month. I can't imagine attending a church where my decisions were scrutinized to the riskof being thrown out of church.  

As one of the ladies that founded this ministry said, our job is to love the non-believers to Jesus. 

It is awesome. I LOVE being part of such a great ministry. The girls at the club where I usually go have started asking questions regularly about church and God. Or they ask us to pray for them in situations, and a year ago no one was talking about church in this club.

 Which church do you think more closely follows Matthew 25:40?

I'd love to hear more stories of what your church is doing to reach out to people.  Let's hear about the amazing things churches are doing!  (And yes, I'd love to hear stories from Churches of Christ as well.)  Sound off in the comments!