Puttin' on the Church Clothes

I mentioned in a previous post that one of the earliest moments wherein I questioned my Church of Christ heritage was when I was a young teen, maybe 13 or 14.  My first question was over the dress code in the Churches of Christ, which was rarely ever explictly stated, but often enforced.  For most of my childhood, I was asked to dress up for church services.

Now, some people like to dress up.  They enjoy putting on neatly pressed slacks, a crisp button-up shirt, and a tasteful tie, perhaps even a sport coat.  They feel good wearing Armani and Gucci.  They enjoy wearing a tie.

But then again, maybe 007 wouldn't have wanted a license to kill, had he been wearing cargo pants and a t-shirt.

Me?  I absolutely hate dress clothes and always have and probably always will.  Ties are the worst.  Who came up with these things, anyway?  At what point did someone sit down, tie a ribbon around their neck, and say "hey!  That looks GOOD!"  And why didn't they make it just a little tighter for just a little longer, so the rest of us could be spared the results of their epiphany?  

Don't get me started on sport coats, either.  I'd rather play pick-up-sticks with my butt cheeks and lit sticks of dynamite than have to wear a suit coat for an hour, let alone all Sunday long.  I'm not as heavy as I once was, but as a bigger guy, it doesn't take very long in a suit jacket for me to start sweating like George W. Bush taking the verbal section of the SAT.  

"I knowed the right word was 'misunderestimated'!  What did you put?"

So, yes, I am very much a t-shirt and jeans/shorts/but-never-jean-shorts type of guy.  I like to be comfortable, and dress clothes just aren't that, to me.

But I digress.  I can't remember my exact age at the time--I must have been 12 to 14--but we were getting ready to go to a Gospel Meeting (what those of you in other denominations refer to as a "revival.")  I was getting ready, after a hurried supper, to go to meet with the saints, and I put on a nice pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt.  It was Tuesday or Thursday night, so I felt properly dressed.  These were school clothes, not play clothes, and as such were in good repair, with no stains and no more holes than what had already been factored in during manufacturing.

Digression alert!  For those of you outside the Church of Christ, I should stop here and explain the dress code of this particular tradition, as it stands today.  Granted, this will vary from congregation to congregation, but this is the most typical version of this unwritten code:

• Sunday School - Men:  Button-up shirt, tie, dress slacks, well-shined dress shoes.  The suit jacket can be removed and set aside during this period.
• Sunday School - Women:  A nice dress, no low necklines, and any hemline or (heaven help you) skirt slit should show nothing above the knee, even when sitting down.  
• Sunday Morning Worship - Men:  Same as above, but you have to put the jacket on.
• Sunday Morning Worship - Women:  Same as above.
• Sunday Evening Worship - Men:  For an unknown reason, ties and jackets are completely optional for this service.  Still, a button-up shirt and dress slacks are generally expected.
• Sunday Evening Worship - Women:  Same as above.
• Wednesday Night Bible Study - Men:  For yet another unknown reason, suits are not required.  Jeans or khakis are OK.  (No shorts!  Ever.)  T-shirts are permitted, but collared shirts or polos are encouraged.
• Wednesday Night Bible Study - Women:  Some congregations still require dresses or skirts, as Churches of Christ have only in very recent times become accepting of women wearing pants at all.  But in many congregations now, jeans are accepted as long as they aren't too tight.  Pantsuits are still on the verge of acceptability.  Anything form-fitting or even marginally revealing is avoided at all cost.  

Yes, you'll do just fine.  Come right on in!

Back to my story:  As I was preparing for this event, my dear, sweet mother, as we were preparing to leave, saw me and immediately sent me back to my room in order to change into "church clothes."  I don't remember exactly what I was compelled to wear, but I do remember it being hot and uncomfortable.  

It was then that I asked one of the first questions that would, years later, begin my journey out of the Church of Christ.  "Why do we have to dress up for one meeting (Sunday morning) but not for all of them?"  What's the difference between Sunday morning and Wednesday night?  Is God not there on Wednesday too?  Is that when He goes out and works on the oceans or the rain forests or something?  Because it seems to me that if we have to dress up for Sunday morning to please Him, we might have to also do so on Sunday night!  Or what about when we say a prayer to him before bed?  If God is concerned about me wearing a suit on Sunday when I pray to Him, shouldn't I have to put that suit on when I perform my nightly meditations and supplications?

I don't want to hear about your "daily bread" before you tuck in that shirt!

So I've asked, on a number of occasions, for people to explain the rationale behind the often unwritten law of apparel within the Church of Christ.  Here are a few of the responses I've seen thus far:

1.  We should give our best to God.

I tried looking that up in the Bible, especially with regard to clothing.  There are literally zero mentions of this in Scripture, but to hear church people talk, it's in there.  It's right there in First Opinions chapter zero next to "The Lord helps those that help themselves."  Some people erroneously refer back to the story of Cain and Abel, saying that Abel gave his best, but Cain did not.  Unfortunately, that's not how the story goes.  It is quite possible that Cain did give the best of what he had in his offering.  The problem was not the quality of the sacrifice, but rather that Cain did not burn what God had asked to be burnt.  

2.  If you were going to meet the President, wouldn't you dress up?  Why wouldn't you want to dress up to go meet God, then?

I love it when people bring up this point, because they do so assuming that the person they are addressing has never had the opportunity to meet a U.S. President.  I've met one (Carter), been in the company of another (Bush the first), and shaken hands with a Vice President (Quayle).  But let's just take President Carter for example.  While I was at work one day, I heard a rumor around the water cooler that former President Carter was signing books down at the Books-a-Million.  So when I got off work, I went down there, dressed in what I had worn to work that Casual Friday.  I didn't go home and change.  I bought the book and stood in line to meet the President who was elected the day I was born.  You can imagine what the President said to me when I finally approached him.  

YOU GET OUT OF HERE AND CHANGE CLOTHES, AND NEXT TIME YOU BETTER BE WEARING SOME DANG PANTS!

He shook my hand, chuckled with interest when I told him about my birth date, signed my book and moved on.  He was genuinely nice.  (And a lot smaller than I had imagined.)

I figure God will probably be even nicer than Jimmy Carter.  Don't you?

3.  You'd dress up for a wedding or a funeral, wouldn't you?  Why not dress up for church?

I got married wearing a plaid shirt and jeans.  But I understand the point.  There are times and places where we dress up in honor of certain human events.  I've worn tuxedos before so I could stand by my friend's side when he tied the knot.  I've worn a tie to funerals.  I wore a tux to sing with a choir.  I even wore one my senior year, just to have a photo to prove for all time what a stud beast I was in high school.

HAAAAYYYY LADIEEEEES!!!!!

But the point is that all these ceremonies are human-oriented.  Humans see the outside.  They need outward signs to communicate that you are respectfully sharing with them in their joy, or grief, as the case may be.  In 1 Samuel 16:7, God says "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  God doesn't need me to provide him with a physical acknowledgment that I am there for Him and completely in tune with His event.  He knows from looking at the condition of my heart.

So having failed to receive an adequate explanation from Church members as to why these rules are enforced, I decided that I may as well do the thing that Church of Christ members pay a lot of lip service to and search the Bible to see what it says.

Remarkably, there are very few instructions about dress with regard to any sort of worship gathering.  There are a few suggestions about modesty in clothing.  Generally, in the Church of Christ, modesty sermons are almost always preached toward women.  Don't show leg.  Hide that cleavage.  Don't make men lust.  Rarely are the lessons ever geared toward men.  Preachers often fail to accurately define modesty when they preach about it.  Modesty is all about not drawing attention to oneself.  

I'm here to tell you that THIS is not modest either:

This suit cost more than you paid for your car.

The only verse that I found that really addresses what to wear when assembling with other Christians was James 2.  "My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism.  Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in.  If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say 'Here's a good seat for you,' but say to the poor man, 'You stand there' or 'Sit on the floor by my feet,' have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?  Listen, my dear brothers and sisters:  Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?  But you have dishonored the poor.  Is it not the rich who are exploiting you?  Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court?  Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?"

Funny how scripture just doesn't seem to support this unwritten rule that is so prevalent in not only the Church of Christ, but most denominations in the USA.  It actually seems to be quite to the contrary.

For the record, yes, other denominations are guilty of this.  And no, not every Church of Christ holds hard and fast to this rule.  The congregation where my father preaches, for example, actually discourages him from wearing a tie or jacket.  As I pointed out in the last post, there are differences in practice between different congregations.  Also, it's obvious to me that my parents' views have shifted, at least somewhat, on the issue of "church clothes" since I was in my early teens.

However, lest you believe it doesn't happen at all within Churches of Christ, please allow me to recount for you the instances in which I have personally witnessed the dress code being stringently enforced.

1.  As a student at Freed-Hardeman University, if I wore shorts to class or chapel, I could be counted absent or assessed a fine.  No hats either, because hats apparently have magical powers that cause men's prayers to be unable to escape their heads.

2.  I attended services at Bemis Church of Christ while a student at FHU.  The elders, in one of the rare occasions of the unwritten dress code actually being written, dictated to the congregation, via the church bulletin, that all men who led prayer, served the Lord's Supper, taught classes, or even men who read the announcements must wear a coat and tie.  (Pants and shoes were apparently optional.)  I was very active in this congregation, and shortly after this edict, I was scheduled to read the announcements for one month's worth of services.  I was a poor college student.  I had no suits.  I had no money with which to buy a suit.  So the elders asked around the congregation, and a bunch of people donated old sport coats to me.  It was one of the most embarrassing, humiliating things that I had ever been through in my young life.  I have rarely been so mortified to be such a spectacle of public charity, and it was heart-wrenching to have to endure the inevitable post-worship cooing of the old ladies.  "See?  You look so good when you dress up!"  Or the old men talking about how I cleaned up nice.  It became very clear to me that I wasn't worthwhile if I weren't wearing clothes from Men's Wearhouse.  Just plain ol' me up there, with a collared shirt and an unfettered neck wasn't acceptable.  They couldn't hear their precious announcements from one such as I.

3.  One time after a serious head injury, in which I received 4 staples to my scalp, I attended a Vacation Bible School session almost directly after leaving the ER.  With freshly closed lacerations, one is not supposed to shower, and thus my hair was still caked in sweat and quite a large amount of blood.  So before going to the VBS, I wrapped my head in a bandanna, because I really didn't think everyone there needed to see dried blood and my head doing its best Frankenstein's monster impression.  While there, one of the older ladies very nearly ripped the bandanna off my head, to say nothing of clawing out a staple from my scalp.  "You know you're not supposed to wear that to church!"  She had no idea of the gore that might be hiding under it.

I bet all the church ladies would've wanted to see this!

4.  I was taken aside by the elders one Sunday night when I was leading singing.  They told me that members of the congregation didn't feel it was right for me to lead singing in the outfit I had on:  blue jeans and a green t-shirt with a white Superman logo.  It was not OK, in their estimation for Superman to lead their singing.  In the future, I was to wear a shirt with a collar.  The next Sunday night, I publicly resigned from being the song leader.  You don't tug on Superman's green t-shirt.

5.  Cartoon ties were a big bugaboo when I was preaching.  They were either too distracting or not reverent enough.  A man apparently cannot get his message across when Bugs Bunny is on his tie.  I actually lost a preaching job over this.

6.  It didn't matter that I was in South Carolina, or that it was August, or that it was 5 million degrees, or that the frail old ladies of the congregation had completely shut off the air conditioning because they were cold, as a preacher THAT SPORT COAT HAD BETTER STAY ON.  I had taken to removing it mid-sermon because I preached under lights and it was hotter than Satan's underpants.  This incredibly ribald action on my part caused a huge stir in the congregation.  I got in a lot of trouble for that.

7.  I visited a congregation while traveling one Sunday, and I had been in the car all day.  It was hot, and my hair was a sweaty mess, having been under a baseball cap all day, so when I went into the building, the baseball cap went with me.  After the services, the preacher came up to me and said "You know you can't wear that in here."  I removed my hat, showed him my filthy matted hair, and he quickly said "Put it back on, boy."  That's the last time I showed up there.

8.  I showed up to a picnic at a member's home wearing shorts.  (Again, it's the South, summer, and warmer than a fresh cowpie.)  I was turned away and asked to go home and change, because shorts were not allowed at "church functions."

There are more examples I could cite, but I think these will do.

"Thank goodness, I thought this blog post would never end!"

Some of you might be thinking right now:  "Hey, what's the big deal?  Why not change your clothes, if it'll make other people happy?  If it's not a big deal to you what you wear, then so what?  Why not just go with it?"

But then I have to repeat the words that many Church of Christ members have said repeatedly:  "I'm not here to please other people.  I'm here to worship God."

I look at James chapter 2 as a very excellent guideline for my behavior when assembling with other Christians.  In my heart, I don't desire to put anyone else to shame in the way that I was put to shame by those men who had to dress me up in their cast-offs just so I could read announcements.  Therefore, I choose to dress casually and comfortably, in the common clothes of the everyday person.  

Secondly, I know that God sees only what is inside my heart.  If he refused me because of my clothing, he'd also refuse me for being overweight!  Or for having a big head.  Or for being just a bit on the ugly side.  There are some things that clothes just can't cover!  

And last, but not least, I dress casually and comfortably because I want to focus more on the experience of worship without being distracted by constantly adjusting and readjusting uncomfortable dress clothes that must be worn just so.  I want to pray, not think about how much this tie is choking me.  I want to meditate without feeling the pools of sweat building up in my armpits.  I want to let his Word speak to me without my pants riding up in places that my wife doesn't even get to see.

In China, we looked a lot like this when we worshipped:

We ate together.  A lot.

How does this NOT appeal to you?

But don't get me wrong, dear reader...this was not the sole reason that I left.  Not by a long shot.

It was definitely the kick-off point, though.

God bless!